I've written and rewritten this post over and over again. Each day, I have sat at my computer to write. But there's a heaviness to this post, even in the midst of great hope.
I almost wrote a post about seeking hope this weekend. I accidentally spilled a cup of water on my laptop and had to pay $750 to have it repaired. I was devastated, particularly because I'm in the midst of law school finals and need a computer. While processing this mess, I found hope in my ability to give myself grace for my mistake. Who doesn't have a beverage next to a laptop?!
But then something bigger happened. I pulled out my old laptop to use while mine was being fixed. I logged onto Facebook and read a message that broke my heart. A dear friend of mine, a fellow brain tumor survivor, ended her life this past weekend.
I sat on my couch in awe. How could I be concerned about money or laptops or exams when a young woman left this world at only age 20? How could my problems even matter in the midst of the pain and suffering she went through before making her decision to bring and end to things?
Friends, part of choosing hope is very bittersweet. When you choose hope, when you decide to focus on giving grace and finding peace, that makes you different. It separates you from those who won't or sadly can't find the strength in their struggles to choose hope.
I would have given anything to give more hope to my friend. She couldn't see past her sadness to see that she was deeply loved. She was smart, kind, and beautiful. The world is truly at a loss without her. Today and every day, choose hope. Let others know that you are choosing hope, so that they may be uplifted by your positivity.
One part of choosing hope for me has required me to reduce my daily stress. It's amazing how little things can pile up and become overwhelming. I don't know about you, but I am really good at letting things bottle up before I notice I am exploding with overwhelming stress. I'm an ultimate Type A personality and can zoom through life without noticing the daily damage of my stressful mindset.
As I realized this, I noticed a change in my mindset. Part of this came from a long period of illness and hospitalization this fall. When I was discharged from the hospital, I kept trying to immediately go back to my normal, fast-paced life. Each time, I would find myself back in the hospital with continued pain and illness.
Then, I went to my parents' home to recover. They live in a very small town. There is nowhere to walk to from their house. Everything is quiet and peaceful. I was forced to slow down. Even with the stress of schoolwork, service projects, and relationships swirling around me, I was forced to take time to breathe and have respite.
When I returned to my apartment and my "normal" life, I noticed changes in myself. I used to check my email at least five times every hour during the day and felt the need to respond to emails immediately. Now, I check it every few hours and only respond to urgent needs immediately. I allow myself to think before hitting "send" and let less urgent matters rest until I have more time.
I also noticed a change in my character. I'm still a tenacious go-getter at work, but I am much more laid back in my daily life. If I don't get everything done in a day, I don't stress over things all night. If I don't get the grade I wished for or the job I hoped for, I feel peace instead of pain. I feel much more focused on the things that really matter in life than the tedious little problems each day.
I didn't want to go through this illness. I didn't want to miss out of weeks of school and work. I didn't want to be sick and miss out on life. But the changes that I have experienced are so much better for my mindset in the longterm.
I encourage you to slow down today. If something doesn't work out the way you planned, just breathe. Focus on the things that really matter, like your family, friends, and self-worth. It's okay to take time for yourself and the things and people that matter. It's okay to give yourself a break once in a while. It's okay to stop and change your mind. Then, you can experience true hope and peace.
I came across this quote today: "Sometimes when you are in a dark place, you think you've been buried, but you have actually been planted."
I've been reading a lot of dark things on Facebook lately. I've read posts about post-election fears full of gloom. I've read posts about holiday blues. I've read posts about suicidal thoughts and major depression. It's so easy to see the darkness all around.
But have you ever had something happen that seemed negative at first but ended up changing you for the better? Things are not always what they seem. Difficulties are not always bad. Struggles are sometimes more strengthening than we anticipate.
Today, think of adversity as an opportunity to stand firm and grow. You never know what's coming around the bend tomorrow.
It's often said not to settle for anything less than your best. In general, settling is not good. You don't want to settle for a relationship that could be toxic. You shouldn't settle for a job you hate if there are other possibilities.
But sometimes, lowering your expectations is a good thing. When we have impossible expectations, we set ourselves up for failure. Instead, we can have both realistic and hopeful expectations. This isn't settling; it's adjusting to give yourself a break.
I recently had to adjust my expectations for myself. I am taking a trial advocacy class this semester, which has a final project of conducting a mock trial. Due to many hospitalizations for various illnesses this semester, I was only able to attend one of the weekly courses leading up to the trial. Additionally, while other students were able to practice in groups for weeks prior to the trial, I was too ill to attend these practices.
I had the final trial last night. I had prepared diligently on my own. I was nervous, but I was also confident in my preparation. Even more, I prepared myself for the situation by reminding myself about all I've gone through this semester. I walked into the courtroom with adjusted expectations; I still held myself to a high standard, but I also gave myself some grace.
Giving yourself grace by adjusting your expectations is important. We aren't superheroes, no matter how hard we try. Sometimes there are extra challenges in life that cause us to be less able or less ready for situations. Give yourself a break today with a little grace. Then, you can hope for all the possibilities in life with a blanket of peace for your heart.
It's easy to be grateful for the wonderful things that happen in life. It's also easy to feel burdened by the challenges that happen in life. But what about the things that don't happen?
There was a large fire in my apartment building yesterday. Multiple floors of apartments were damaged. The entire building was without power or heat throughout the night as electricians tried to dry out the breakers. I went to a cozy hotel across the street to get warmth and rest.
My apartment was not damaged. I was not injured. My dog was safe. Every person was safe. This makes me think about the challenges that don't happen. It could have been my unit. My belongings could all be ruined. I could have been hurt. My dog could have been hurt. Things could have been far more dangerous for all of us.
But it wasn't. It didn't happen. How often do we express gratitude for the things that don't happen? How often do we pause to thank God for the things that could have hurt us but didn't? I know I don't do this enough. Today, think about the things that could have but didn't happen to you, and give thanks. We have so much to be thankful for!
Choosing hope can be dangerous. Hoping means putting your desires, trust, and thoughts into something, the possibility of that something happening. So what happens when that thing doesn't happen or doesn't go the way you hoped?
Sometimes we get straight "yes" or "no" answers in life. More often, though, it seems that the answer is often "not yet." We are asked to wait for things all the time. Maybe you're waiting for changes at work. Maybe you're waiting for a relationship to bloom. Maybe you're waiting for healing of an illness.
I came across this quote today that really resonated with me: "Not getting what you want can turn out to be the best thing for you."
It's hard to agree with this quote in the moment. It's hard to believe that the best is happening when you don't get that promotion, lose that friend, or get sicker. But choosing hope is not a one-day event. Choosing hope is a matter of living, a full-time job of believing that good things will come.
Today, I encourage all of us to look at challenges and opportunities. Perhaps the best thing is about to happen to you. Are you ready?
Have you ever felt too weak or too unable to conquer the challenges that came your way? I sure have and still do. It's easy to psych myself out, focusing on my own inabilities. Then, I read quotes like this: "Thankfully, it is God's grip on me, not my feeble grip on Him, that keeps me safe in the fold of His love."
It's not about you. It's not about me. It's not about our difficulties. It's about the strength that we find wrapped in the arms of God. He is the source of all hope and peace. So whenever you find choosing hope to be difficult, lean on prayer. God's grace will refill your hope each day.
On cold, rainy days like today, it can be difficult to feel motivated. I know for me, this time of year is hard. I would much rather spend my day Christmas shopping, sipping a hot beverage, and snuggling with my favorite golden retriever than writing term papers, reading dozens of articles, and editing for my school's journal.
This is also a time of year where it can be easy to get down. It's cold and wet. It's darker earlier and earlier each evening. Sometimes the holidays aren't full of the joys we imagine or desire.
I came across this quote yesterday: "The fact that you aren't where you want to be should be enough motivation."
Can any of us say we are where we want to be? Even when life is going pretty smoothly, there is always a desire for improvement. Thus, there should always be motivation.
So what are you hoping for? Are you hoping for an A in that really hard class this semester? Are you hoping for a raise at work? Are you hoping to mend a relationship or start a new one? Whatever it is this season, whatever is on your heart, choose hope. Choose to stay motivated to getting to that success. Even if that success doesn't ultimately happen, the successes along the way will make it all worthwhile. Choose motivation today and every day.
Have you ever felt unready? Maybe you have a deadline at work that's creeping up too fast. Maybe you're in a relationship that's going in a different direction than you planned. Maybe you're asked to perform and feel unprepared.
I'm heading back to school today after a long break of respite from months of illness. Am I ready? No. I still have a lot of pain, am exhausted all the time, and am nervous about tackling the homework piling up for me.
This got me thinking about what it means to choose hope when you're not ready. None of us can change how we feel; we will all still have moments of anxiety and nerves in these situations. But choosing hope means that while everything might not be okay, we jump in anyway. We hope for the possibilities of goodness and have peace to get us through no matter what.
Whatever anxieties come your way this week, I encourage you to choose hope. Choose to trust in yourself. Breathe and know that whatever happens, peace will fill you through it all.
I was thinking this morning about the challenges we face in
life and one of the reasons that makes these challenges even harder. We’ve all
heard the phrases:
“Tomorrow’s a new day!”
“Try again tomorrow!”
“If you don’t succeed at first, try again!”
We use these phrases with pure optimism. But these phrases
are naïve. These phrases are deceiving. These phrases neglect to notice that
there are often residual struggles that carry on to the next day or the next
try.The cancer patient whose first
treatment fails brings worry, pain, and an ill body to the second treatment.
The teenager who was bullied one day brings sadness and low self-esteem to the
next day of high school. The advocate who loses a battle for justice enters the
next battle with a little less gusto and a lot more anger.
As I was thinking about these challenges, I watched my
golden retriever. Some days are great in her world, full of snuggles and
treats. Other days are not so great when she has to go to the vet, have a
dreaded bath, or doesn’t get enough attention. But every morning, my golden
wakes up with fresh joy. The pains from yesterdays never matter in her
tomorrows. She jumps out of bed with the same enthusiasm for life day after day
after day.
Don’t you wish you could be like a golden? I know I sure do!
I wish I had my pup’s energy, compassion, and thrill in every moment of life. I
wish every day was a new chance for something happy and fun and playful.
But then, I wonder: Could it be? Could I choose to take the
heartaches of yesterday and choose hope for today? It can’t be as automatic as
it is for my dog, but couldn’t I approach life with bravery and peace? The
cancer patient could approach the second treatment with hope that the first
treatment that failed led him to the second treatment that just might work. The
teenager could approach another day of high school knowing that bullying
teachers her compassion for her peers that makes her a better, stronger person.
The advocate could approach a second try with peace that everything happens in
good time. Maybe then, our phrases could change:
“Tomorrow’s a new day to use what I experienced today for
good.”
“Try again tomorrow with hope and peace.”
“If you don’t succeed at first, try again with hope and
trust.”
I don’t know about you, but I’m going to try to approach
today more like my golden retriever. I’m sure I’ll fail at times, but I can
always choose hope the next time. God’s mercies are new every morning. Let’s
make our hope new every morning, too.
I hope you had a wonderful holiday
yesterday! I know I enjoyed time with family and a great meal. But today is the
day after Thanksgiving. Now what?
I was reading Ephesians 1:15-16
this morning. Paul writes, "For this reason, ever since I heard about your
faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, I have not
stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers."
Black Friday so easily gets us into
the commercialized trap of wanting more rather than giving thanks for what has
been given. Don't get me wrong...I love to shop! But I wonder how untrue Paul's
words are in our lives.
Do we thank God continuously for
each other? We all post on Facebook and Twitter about gratitude for family,
friends, health, food, and so much more on the last Thursday in November, but
what about Friday? What about this weekend? What about every day until next
Thanksgiving?
Part of choosing hope rather than
fear requires peaceful gratitude each day. We can't have hope without that
peace. So what tries to take your hope and peace away that leads to feelings of
an ungrateful heart? For me right now, it's continued pain from recent
medical issues. For others it's the emptiness without love, lack of money, job
disappointments, or arguments with family and friends.
I don't know what steals your joy
today, but I encourage you to let it go. Let's continue thanksgivings each day.
Let's be grateful for what we have while pushing towards what we want. And when
we don't get what we want, let's be thankful for peace that passes all
understanding from God who knows what we truly need.
Dear Friends,
Happy Thanksgiving! I hope wherever you are, you are celebrating well. But I
realize that holidays can come with a mixture of emotions, so I hope you find
this note encouraging no matter your circumstances.
Thanksgiving can be a hard day in my family. It was right around this time of
year (nine years ago tomorrow) that my family lost its rock, my loving and
amazing grandfather. Our thankfulness has been bittersweet ever since.
I imagine that some of you have your own troubles around this time of year. Perhaps
there is division among your family, either by geography or by politics. Some
of you may be grieving losses of loved ones, jobs, or ways of life. I don't
know what battles you are facing today, but I have a message for you.
This Thanksgiving is different for me. This summer, I had a client who changed
the way I view gratitude, and my thanksgivings can never be the same.
I'll call him Sam, a name I made up for his protection. Sam is a 62 year-old
man who needed my help. He was diagnosed with stage four bladder cancer. This
is considered a "compassionate allowance" by the government, meaning
that the odds were highly against Sam winning his battle. On top of all this,
Sam was homeless, jobless, and moneyless.
Still, Sam was the most grateful man I've ever met. Every kind word, idea, or
laugh I could share with him was welcomed with more compassion than I've ever
known. He wanted nothing more than to not be a burden to others and to live in
a way that cared for the people he loved.
Sam taught me that having a home and having strength are not the same thing. He
had more strength than any mansion owner in the world. Sam taught me to be
grateful for every moment of life, whether in pain or in peace, in
poverty or in prosperity, in a cold car or in a warm home.
There are a lot of reasons not to be thankful today. I am personally in great
amounts of pain from recent medical procedures. But with the Sams of this
world, how can we not be beyond grateful for the many things we do have?!
Look around you. Choose gratitude. Choosing gratitude means choosing hope,
because you are choosing a peaceful acceptance of the blessings you have within
your reach.
I want to leave you with one of my favorite songs. It's my prayer
this and every Thanksgiving. May you choose gratitude and hope today and every
day.
“Gratitude”
By: Nichole Nordeman
Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain
Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread
Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need
So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace
As I scroll through Facebook each day, I find messages of
fear and dread. Some people are fearing illness or personal hardships. Others
are fearing governmental powers. Still others are fearing everyday battles at
work, school, or home. I don’t know the exact fears of every person, but I do
know the source of fear; The Devil wants us to be afraid. He wants us to live
in fear rather than hope. He wants to destroy our hope each day in every thing.
I, too, have had my own fights with fear. Most recently, I
have had various health problems, one on top of another on top of another…all
working to damage my hope in daily life. When your body doesn’t feel good, it’s
easy to become anxious about every little thing.
I decided to start this blog to encourage my friends and
family as well as people I may never know. I will be posting daily on this blog
with reflections of hope. Whether you stick with me every day, read once in a
while, or binge read every weekend to catch up, I pray that my reflections will
bring hope and peace to all. If you have any encouraging messages that may help
guide my posts, feel free to contact me at sjconrad88@gmail.com.
Here is today’s reflection:
November 23: “Choose Hope”
What is hope? Is it a thing that you hold? Is it something
you think or say? How does hope form and take shape? Does hope happen
differently for one person or another?
Hope might have very different definitions for very
different people, but I’d like to offer the idea of hope as a mindset. Hope can
be something that frames your thoughts, actions, and words. It can be a choice
to live in the possibility and peace rather than the fear and unknown.
Choosing hope within possibility is an encouraging way to
live. Instead of asking yourself what could go wrong, it’s the mindset of
believing that good can happen. Even more, it’s believing that even if problems
come, good can and will come from those problems, even if you don’t notice the
good right away.
This is where the peace part comes in. Choosing hope
requires a mindset of peace. It’s this thing that fills you with stillness to
handle the what ifs of life. It’s this thing that calms you, even if you think
of both the good and bad possibilities. It’s the thing that will sustain you if
the ifs happen and will hold you through the storm. It’s also the thing that
gives you quietness in the wait and sees of life.
As we go on this journey of choosing hope, I ask you to try
with me. Let’s try to choose hope together. Let’s try to trust in the good
possibilities. Let’s try to have peace that good will come from the future,
even if we cannot see it immediately. Let’s look at the world in hope rather
than fear. Maybe then, we can change from a culture of fear to a culture of
hope. Maybe then, we can encourage our friends and family. Maybe then, we can
brighten up our social media posts and in turn impact others for the better.
Thanks for stepping out in hope with me. Let’s choose hope,
even if just for today.
Friends, part of choosing hope is very bittersweet. When you choose hope, when you decide to focus on giving grace and finding peace, that makes you different. It separates you from those who won't or sadly can't find the strength in their struggles to choose hope.
